He asked if I'd ever noticed that in some of the paintings of Jesus as the shepherd, the lamb hoisted upon His shoulders has a bandage around one leg. He told me that in some cases, a young lamb will habitually stray -- no matter how many times the shepherd brings it back to the flock, it soon runs off again. And it leads others astray as well.
So the shepherd breaks the leg of the wandering lamb.
Of course, the good shepherd continues to take care of the lamb by bringing it water and food and protecting it from predators. Over time, as the leg heals, the lamb becomes quite attached to the shepherd -- it recognizes its dependence on the shepherd for everything it needs to survive -- and so when the leg is healed and the bandage removed, it recognizes its master's voice and happily follows him wherever he goes. The lamb is literally transformed by suffering.
We believe in and regularly witness pain and suffering brought about as a result of sin, both original and personal. But what about the suffering that seems to be a result of pure happenstance? Or the saintly men and women who patiently suffer lingering illness or chronically debilitating disease? Sometimes our lack of trust makes us question: would a loving and caring God cause, much less allow, pain and suffering?
Well, maybe we can answer a question with another question: would a loving mother or father discipline a small child who was reaching for an open flame or toddling towards a busy intersection? I suggest that it would be a sure sign of uncaring, unloving parents who would refrain from doing so.
Like that one rebellious lamb, there are times in our lives when we stray -- times when God has to break us of our stubbornness, our pride, and our self-sufficiency. He does it because He loves us and doesn't want to see us stray or lead others into spiritual danger. So he disciplines us, breaks us then fixes us, and as a result, we lead changed lives.No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Heb 12:11)
As we realize our dependence on Him, we learn to obey Him and then follow Him. No, the discipline of God isn't pleasant, but eventually, if we allow it, produces righteousness and peace.
In my second letter to my prison pen-pal, Monty, I asked him if he'd like to share his faith journey with me. By his response, he taught me a little bit about redemption and the gentle pull of faith, and a glimpse of what it feels like to be a lamb so lovingly tended to by the Good Shepherd.
Monty S. #215642
Lieber C.I.
Ridgeville, SC 29472-02O5
Hello Bill,
How are you doing? I hope this letter finds you and your family doing well. I am doing well here. Counting each day as a blessing from the Lord. I Just wanted to write and say hello.
In your letter of August 28 you asked me about my faith journey and I would like to share a little of that with you.
I was not raised in a religious family. We were not church going people. Not regularly anyway. As a child I did attend church from time to time but not enough to know what it was really and truly all about. I just was never taught.
When I was about 13 or 14 years old I had a friend who was Catholic and attended Saint Patrick’s Catholic Church in Perry. I started going there and I really enjoyed
it. I began weekly “conversion classes” but sadly it didn’t last for very long. I don’t remember why I stopped, but I did. I knew a lot of religious people throughout my life but I wasn’t one of them.
One thing about being incarcerated is that it gives you plenty of time to think. I would often think about the people I knew throughout my life up to the time of my imprisonment. I was in a sense trying to figure out why some of those people seemed to be successful in their lives while my life at that point had come to such a dismal failure. Not all of these people were necessarily wealthy in a financial sense. In fact, only a few would fit that category of “success.” They were all just successful at life. They were happy with life and always, or most always, seemed to be at least cheerful about things. I must have thought about this a hundred million times. I would even make lists of the people for comparison trying to figure it out. I was desperate to know where I had gone so wrong.
Then one day it hit me: The most successful people I had ever known in my life all had one very important link in common.
Religion. They were all Christians. “Wow,” I said to myself. I was glad to finally have that one figured out. And, that was that. Or so I thought at the time.
I had developed an interest in religious history and particularly in the history of Christianity. I was reading a history book a few years ago and there was information in that book relating to the fact that the Catholic Church could trace its history all the way back to the time of Christ with an unbroken line of leadership from St. Peter to the present pope. At times prior to this I had often wondered why there were so many different Christian “denominations” and this church or that church, but I don’t think it ever occurred to me that there must exist only one true Church of Christ built on the foundation of the apostles and actually led by Christ. I don’t know how this fact escaped me back at St. Patrick’s but I knew I was on to something.
One thing I really enjoy doing is learning. I love reading and researching and writing. So, I commenced my investigation of the Catholic Church and faith. I didn’t realize it at the time but what I started was going to take me down a completely new and wonderful path of discovery on my way to finally finding success and true happiness in my own life.
Now, all of this did not happen overnight. It took some time and along the way I suffered terrible personal loss in the death of my mom and older brother and the widening gulf between my son and I, among other things. Add to that the other terrible issues of guilt and remorse I have been suffering with since July 1993 and I was in awful shape spiritually and emotionally. I was completely useless. I had no life. I had no future. I had nothing. I was worthless.
Then, through the grace of God I finally began to connect the dots and the picture that emerged was of the Cross and Christ Crucified. Jesus left the 99 to find the one and on that day I was the one. He had been calling me all along. He has let me know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I am by no means useless or worthless. I do have a wonderful future and I have more blessings than I can count. I do have a life and my life is in Him. My hope is in my Savior and He will never let me down. What more could anyone hope for?
My divine reality is this: God is the most real thing in my life. There is no shortcut out of here or out of this life and He has given me an uncommon peace, strength and clear direction in my life. God designed me for success and I will achieve it. I used to wonder what I would do with what was left of my once-broken life — now I know. I became a new person and God made me that way. I was completely shattered and He fixed me and sustains me each and every day. He is my Savior and my hope and I do my best to bring Him honor and glory in all that I do. I was made to love Him.
Well, that is the beginning of my faith journey. We are all in pursuit of holiness and through the grace and love of Christ our Lord we shall someday achieve our goal and gaze upon the face of God for eternity. Please keep me in your prayers and know that you and your family are in mine.
May the God of hope fill you with all Joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)
Sincerely in Christ,
Monty
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